5 Bad Reasons to Get a Divorce
By Joe Carter, TGC.
Forbes Advisor commissioned a survey of 1,000 Americans who are divorced or in the process of divorcing to discover why marriages fail. The survey found that 63 percent of people who divorced said having a better understanding of commitment prior to marrying could have stopped their unions from collapsing. And 56 percent said they may not have divorced if they had a better understanding of their spouses’ morals and values. Surprisingly, less than 5 percent of divorced people said their marriages couldn’t be saved.
In a world where the sanctity of marriage is increasingly under siege, it’s crucial to reevaluate the reasons often cited for divorce. There are undoubtedly situations where divorce may be a biblically justifiable option, such as cases of abandonment, abuse, or infidelity. But as the survey shows, there are many instances where a better understanding of commitment and values could be enough to save the marriage.
Here are five commonly cited reasons for divorce that aren’t legitimate grounds for ending a marriage.
1. Falling out of Love: The Emotional Fallacy
One of the most frequently cited reasons for divorce is the notion that one or both partners have “fallen out of love.” The modern notion of love is often romanticized and emotionalized, influenced by literature, movies, and popular culture. Such a perspective is rooted in a misunderstanding of love as primarily an emotional experience and stands in stark contrast to the biblical understanding of love, which is rooted in commitment and action.
Throughout the New Testament, the term most frequently used for love is agape, which refers to a selfless, sacrificial love. For example, Paul describes love in 1 Corinthians 13:4–7 as patient, kind, and enduring all things. It’s this kind of love that should be the foundation of a Christian marriage.
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