All hail the new CofE: The Church of Extinction

Nov 14, 2019 by

by Andy Shaw, Spectator:

A radical new religion is sweeping across the western world. Young people are marching from their schools and preaching on the streets. Pensioners are blocking roads and glueing themselves to trains. ‘The End Is Nigh!’ ‘The Climate is Collapsing!’ is their new call to prayer.

Extinction Religion is building its church inside our primary schools, colleges and town centres. It is gathering a flock of anxious and fearful people and inspiring them to protest and get arrested. But, as the Church of Extinction (CofE) replaces the old CofE, what is at the core of their faith?

God

In the new CofE, the Earth, itself, is God. The primordial deity is reified as the giver of life and the essence of purity, unsullied by human activity. Known to some worshippers as Gaia, the biosphere is believed to inhabit a spirit that wishes to return to a state of natural equilibrium. CofE! literature doesn’t clarify whether this ideal state is to be found in a previous ice age, prior to the evolution of fish or sometime around 1780. However, CofE! devotees can hear the groans of their god, suffering from the sins of humankind.

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