By Kathryn Eckhardt, TGC.
One of the questions I hear most from my students is some variation of “What does it look like to be a good friend?”
This is an excellent question and a critical one for teens to evaluate. Many students I disciple as a youth leader in my church are pondering, Whom should I let speak into my life? What groups of friends do I have (sports, church, school, etc.), and how do I navigate between them? Are my friends a good or bad influence on me? Am I a good friend to others?
Seeking belonging and finding a friend group in the middle and high school years is a normal part of teen life that has always required wisdom. But the rise of social media use among teens is complicating their friendships, and teens need guidance.
Here are three ways to help teens navigate friendships in the social media age.
1. Recognize Qualities of a Good Friend
Social media is shaping how our teens define and navigate friendships. Influencer culture often promotes materialism, outward appearances, and popularity. The focus is on how many friends (and followers) you have rather than on the quality of those relationships.
Several high school students I’ve mentored have told me about the peer pressure they experience around social media. They’re expected to post photos, stories, and highlight reels documenting their daily lives, much of which involves staged photos with their friends. Likes and comments on posts are associated with belonging and acceptance.
While there’s nothing inherently wrong with posting pictures or using the like button, the pressure teens feel suggests social media subtly teaches them that popularity and influence matter over meaningful connections and personal character.