By John Stonestreet and Andrew Carico, Christian Post.
The old joke that “whoever said marriage is a 50-50 proposition didn’t know the half of it,” takes on a whole new meaning in a culture flirting with “polyamory.”
Within the word, “poly” means multiple, and “amor” means love. Thus, polyamory refers to multiple loves, or what has traditionally been called “open relationships.” Some polyamorous relationships involve so-called “marriage;” others do not. As opposed to polygamy, which means many spouses, polyamory is about multiple committed relationships consenting together to be part of a larger relationship.
As Sean McDowell recently noted, polyamorous relationships are not new. Examples go back to at least the Greco-Roman world. What is new is that over 50% of Americans under 30 believe open marriage is acceptable, and another study shows that one in nine Americans have engaged in polyamory. Also new, and consistent with the American experience, is the collection of reality shows, thought pieces, and films conspiring to promote it.
Most important in the drive to normalize polyamory is the Supreme Court’s 2015 Obergefell decision. By legalizing same-sex “marriage” nationwide, the male/female distinction was treated as irrelevant for marriage, which opened the door to additional relational arrangements. In his dissent, Chief Justice John Roberts even questioned whether the arguments for same-sex marriage would justify “people who find fulfillment in polyamorous relationships.” The answer is unfortunately “yes.”
A few local governments are also mainstreaming the practice. An ordinance passed this spring by the Portland City Council prohibits discrimination based on one’s “family or relationship structure” and reduces the obstacles to receiving various city services previously reserved for monogamous couples. Other cities have passed similar resolutions. The push to normalize same-sex relationships also began with anti-discrimination laws.
And just recently, in an article in The Christian Century, David Congdon argued that “biblical and theological arguments in favor of polyamory are readily available.” As an example, Congdon cites Ephesians 5:31-32, in which Paul describes the husband and wife as pointing to Christ’s relationship to the Church, as actually referring to one church in Ephesus with multiple people. Thus, he concludes, “if Christ’s relationship to the [C]hurch is supposed to be the model for marriage, it might well be a plural marriage.”