from Christian Concern
Paul Huxley reviews Queered Out, a new resource that presents stories of Christians reflecting on same-sex attraction, discipleship and life in Christ.
What would you say if a friend at church told you they’d been struggling with same-sex desires?
I hope you’d show love and kindness to them, honoured that they would feel able to share that with you. But what then?
You could celebrate and encourage them to pursue an LGB identity. That’s what the World would do. It would call any other approach ‘conversion therapy’ and shun you. It might even try to put you in jail.
Well-meaning Christians might take another approach. Something like “This is your ‘thorn in the flesh’. Don’t expect anything to change about those feelings, but you can bring glory to God by living in celibacy”.
This is a good deal better – God really cares what we do with our bodies. Avoiding physical sin and inappropriate relationships really is important.
But this view has many problems of its own. It assumes a ‘born gay’ or ‘once gay, always gay’ myth that is not supported by science or scripture. It treats those feelings as if they are completely different from any other struggles Christians may face. It leaves their internal lives, filled with thoughts and desires, completely untouched. And it doesn’t really address the reason for your friend sharing their struggle: their need for help and support.
Where this view prevails, it can feel like a Christian has deep urges and desires that will forever rage within them. The whole of the rest of their life will be an exercise of willpower to push those feelings down and resist serious sin.
Both of these approaches could easily seem exhausting. A true Christian will be frustrated by the ‘affirmation-only’ advice, with God convicting them through Word and Spirit. And the prospect of a lifetime facing strong, deep desires for ungodly relationships, without any prospect of progress is daunting.