Bishop Graham’s sexuality apology: a translation from liberalese
by Will Jones, Faith and Politics:
Christian Today reported on Monday on an apology from the Bishop of Norwich, Graham Usher, following the release of a pastoral statement on civil partnerships by the Church of England’s House of Bishops last month.
However, if you have heard or read the apology – given in both a letter and radio interview – you will be aware it is in liberalese, making it difficult to understand for those not familiar with this strange dialect.
I offer here a loose translation:
“We write with a care for everyone in the diocese of Norwich and with a desire that all may find life in all its fullness as Jesus promises.”
Unlike that mean, uncaring statement slipped through last month while we weren’t paying proper attention by the nasty conservatives, we liberals care about LGBT people and want them to have life in all its fullness – please note that this is a reference to scripture (John 10:10), one of our favourite verses that we use as often as possible because, taken by itself, it can be filled with any modern, liberal idea of well-being wholly detached from some of those outdated bits of scripture that go on about sex.
“We are therefore deeply sorry for the hurt and anger that was caused by the House of Bishops’ statement issued last week about civil partnerships.”
We are deeply sorry that the Bible has these moral rules in it and the Church still thinks Christians have to live by them and that it has to remind people what they are from time to time.
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