Church of England blows £7million on giant inflatable ‘Safeguarding’ balloon

Jul 10, 2018 by

by Jules Gomes, Rebel Priest:

A giant inflatable blimp is floating over the University of York as the Church of England’s General Synod met this weekend for its bi-annual talkathon. The bloated bureaucratic balloon called Safeguarding costs a cool £7million; half of the budget the church spends on training its clergy.

It is the season of big balloons and activists are competing with one another to prove that ‘my balloon is bigger than yours’. It all began when anti-Trumpistas were so full of hot air and so short on real issues for debate that they raised £18,000 to create a helium-filled six-metre high figure, which they said reflects Mr Trump’s character as an ‘angry baby with a fragile ego and tiny hands’.

London Mayor Sadiq Khan gave permission for the balloon to fly. In a sprightly counter-manoeuvre, Trump supporters have been crowdfunding to set afloat a giant size ‘Baby Khan’ balloon of London’s mayor in a nappy hovering over the Houses of Parliament. The campaign has already raised over £34,908.

Can the ever-enterprising Church of England be far behind when it comes to being full of hot air and short on real issues to debate? This season General Synod took a refreshing break from debating gay sex and instead spent an entire apocalyptic afternoon on the gospel according to Al Gore and how it could stem the global spread of nukes.

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