Gender and Trauma (The Dark Side of Transgender – Part 2)
from theweeflea:
(This is part two of one woman’s story which I have agreed to publish anonymously for reasons which were evident in part one – The Dark Side of Transgender )
This is a stunning and hard story to read – how much harder to write and to have lived. It’s a story of abuse and self harm that could be repeated many thousands of times in our society – but in a dark world we give thanks for the Light).
I sat down in front of my computer many times this week wondering what to write for my next instalment. Every word I wrote down looked strange and off, and I wondered why.
I realise that, for my story to be effective, it needs to speak from real experience. I can quote statistics and clinical studies all I want, but that’s something you can look up yourself. It isn’t powerful unless you’re hearing something from my own experience, something unique that no thinkpiece by a psychologist could ever emulate.
My body has not been my own for a very long time. At nine, I was sexually assaulted. At eleven, I began mutilating my own body. At thirteen, I was abused. At fourteen, I was bullied. At seventeen, I had risky sex with men I didn’t know, simply so they would have an incentive to treat me like a human being.
There is definitely a correlation between sexual abuse and gender dysphoria. It isn’t a topic many trans people wish to talk about, but I have cried with, held and reassured enough girls to know that this is our common experience. Their experiences are not my story to tell, but I hope to God that some day they will be brave, they will stand up, that their abusers will answer for their crimes.