Stories ‘My church didn’t know what to do with me’ – Libby’s transgender story

Sep 15, 2021 by

During her teenage years Libby Littlewood pleaded with God to make her ‘feel like a girl’. With her prayers seemingly unanswered, she transitioned to live as a man aged 17, before being convicted by God to de-transition in her early twenties. Here’s her story in full.

Having been brought up in a Christian family, the Lord was no stranger to me. When I was four, we moved to a small Baptist church. At six, I had my first tangible encounter with the Holy Spirit.

When I was 11, our church broke down. My brother became an atheist shortly after. That wasn’t an option for me: I couldn’t deny the existence of the God I knew, so instead I gave up on organised church, pursuing my relationship with God almost entirely through personal prayer.

From the youngest age, I assumed I would grow up to be a man. As I entered puberty, my struggles identifying with other girls became more distressing. After an evening of frantic googling, aged 12, I came across the word ‘transgender’. I readily adopted the philosophy that ‘female’ was, in fact, an internal feeling, a personality trait – something I didn’t have. I was affirmed in my belief that I wasn’t enough of a girl and resigned to the understanding that I would never be fulfilled without transitioning to live as a transman and injecting synthetic hormones for the foreseeable future.

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