The Church of England: Not of Sound Mind

Jan 25, 2023 by

by Peter Mullen, Crisis Magazine:

Church of England bishops have decided to stick to the church’s traditional teaching that marriage is “between a man and a woman,” which will lead to no small amount of lamenting within that Church about not keeping up with secular morality.

Church of England bishops and the General Synod have decided to stick to the church’s traditional teaching that marriage is “between a man and a woman.” This was announced after “long and careful consideration of all the factors involved.”

Let me do a bit of translating for you. This was announced after members of the stitch-up committee set up to advocate homosexual marriage couldn’t agree; and so, after much foot-stamping and many hissy fits, the Synod has settled on a compromise.

“Same-sex couples will still not be able to get married in church but prayers of dedication and thanksgiving or for God’s blessing on the couple will be allowed after a civil gay marriage.”

What will happen next? The chief ecclesiastical supporters of homosexual “marriage” will be properly miffed. The Archbishop of Canterbury will have a nervous breakdown—his eighteenth—and Commissar Stephen Cottrell, Gauleiter Archbishop of York, will retreat—temporarily of course—to his bunker under Bishopthorpe to contemplate his next territorial demand.

The LGBTQ+ homies and palones will be just too, too chagrined—they’re used to being chagrined—and will cry all through the new season of Pride marches. When they have taken comfort from a pint or two of Cosmo or Vodka Cran, the more feverish among them will propose taking legal action against the church authorities’ discrimination.

The traditionalists in the Church of England—all five of them—will describe the compromise decision as an abomination and stomp about in fine imitation of the late Rev. Ian Paisley preaching the good news of our damnation.

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