Vicar: ‘If you don’t worship in the CofE (or only come at Christmas), don’t complain about what we do’
by Archbishop Cranmer:
The Rev’d Miranda Threlfall-Holmes had a premonition that her tweet would be unpopular, but still she shared her ecclesiology with the world: “People are only allowed to complain about the Church of England closing services in times of public health emergency, or pontificate about what we should do at Christmas, if they are prepared to turn out weekly, give weekly, and go to the APCM”, she proclaimed.
The APCM, for those who don’t know, is the Annual Parochial Church Meeting, which are quite prosaic business affairs and open to all lay parishioners who are on the Electoral Roll. If you’re concerned about bats in the belfry, how much doesn’t go into the collection plate or who gets to be a churchwarden this year, this is the meeting for you. You don’t have to be a weekly worshipper to attend: the sole qualification is your name being on the Electoral Roll.
The Rev’d Miranda believes you may not criticise the Church of England unless you endure this meeting every year. Only then are you qualified to have input into what carols are sung at Christmas and how tall the tree will be (or whether Midnight Mass is celebrated at all in your parish).
“You don’t get to tell us to put lives at risk just because you want a nice carol service to complete your Good Housekeeping view of ‘a good Christmas’”, she added in a supplementary, if not rather contemptuous tweet.
Isn’t a ‘Good Housekeeping’ kind of Christmas a rather comforting and spiritually edifying affair? Isn’t a ‘Good Housekeeping’ kind of Christmas a gloriously reassuring Anglican one?
She also thinks you should be an actual communicant – not just once or twice a year (ie, not a Christmas-and-Easter type of Christian), but you must be present in the pews every single week, and give £20 with a joyful heart every week (okay, she didn’t specify £20, but that would be nice). Only then are you qualified to make any comment on cancelled services or Covid-proof weddings and funerals.
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