Don’t Let Porn Be Your Painkiller – Alexis Lundh
from IFTCC News:
Norwegian Advocate Against Pornography, Alexis Lundh, Attends IFTCC Conference.
It was a pleasure to welcome Alexis Lundh to the 8th Annual IFTCC Conference which took place in October 2022 in Hungary.
Alexis Lundh (NO) has worked extensively with teens and young adults in Scandinavia and is best known for his work supporting those who have experienced addiction to pornography.
Alexis begins his interview comparing present-day teenagers to those of 5-10 years ago. He says that they seem to be more confused, they lack more in their self-worth, they think they are defined by their sexual identity, they are more violent, and they are in an even greater need to hear another story about the body, sexuality, and intimacy.
He describes the hopelessness many teenagers feel, saying that he ‘works in the shadow of death’, but when he mentions Jesus, light is brought into those desperate situations and death loses its grasp.
Alexis will begin his conversations by explaining a person’s value in Christ to them, helping them to begin establishing a Godly identity (where they recognise that they are loved, desired and created by a good God).
He explains the importance of talking through shame, which oftentimes keeps people trapped, and keeping accountability. He mentions how crucial confidentiality is when it comes to accountability, and to anyone whose confidentiality has been breached in that area, he encourages them not to lose their hope – because there are good people out there. Our hope is not in other people, but on the One who is much higher! You are made in the image of God.
He encourages people in leadership who are struggling to go deeper, to go into therapy – oftentimes they already know everything and need to talk through these issues without judgement – because the consequences of infidelity are high.
Alexis suggests us to have support groups and safe environments to open up in, so that we can live transparently and truthfully.
Pornography is often a painkiller for something we lack or long for, and so if a married couple have stopped being intimate, it becomes likelier for a spouse to watch it. He adds that sex is not the meaning of life, and that there often needs to be a search for something deeper. We cannot use sex as a painkiller.
When asked what advice to give to prospective IFTCC Learning participants on pornography, he said the following:
“Tell a story that is more attractive, honest, and more in the area of what we are created for as men and women. Go back to the beautiful creation story. Man expressed a longing, and God Almighty created the ‘crown jewel’ of creation, the woman, to answer this deep longing in the man. Not only for sexual reasons, but deeper ones. There are so many areas we can talk about when we talk about our differences as men and women. There are so many answers in creation and we’re not even half way there!”
We pray that God would continue to use Alexis in his interactions with young people and struggling leaders alike in the areas of pornography and identity – crucial in this generation.
Thank you, Alexis, for coming to the conference.
Received by email
See also: Children’s commissioner: Pornography affecting 8-year-olds’ behaviour by Philippa Wain, BBC
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