Meeting God in the midst of bereavement
by Anita Laryea, Christian Today:
Jonny Wicks, a former policeman and father of three, lost his wife Rachel to a brain aneurysm in 2019. Although greatly devastated, Wicks recounts how his Christian faith carried him through this extremely difficult time. Four years on he is now remarried and now works at Leprosy Mission as a Partnerships Manager.
Christian Today spoke with Jonny to hear about how God helped him to process Rachel’s death, the comfort he received from the Bible, and what his role at Leprosy Mission means to him.
[…] How did God help you process the loss of your wife?
I remember in the hospital being in a little room and having just had the news shared with me, initially it was devastating. There was a Bible in the room and I asked the nurse to read Romans 8 from verse 18 to the end of the chapter. After she read it I felt this immediate peace. I knew God was there with me in that moment. I asked a nurse if I could pray and I remember vividly praying the words of Job, “The Lord gives, the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord.” I think back on it now, how on earth could you say that?! But that was God’s spirit at that time just filling my soul with what I needed.
God was incredible through his people. I will always be in debt to my church because they were amazing. They showed me so much love, grace and kindness. I just needed people to be with me, and so many came and sat and just wept and prayed with me. They supported me practically as well. I didn’t cook a meal for about three months because people were always bringing food and cakes for us every week.
I went back to work eight weeks after it happened and there was a family in the church who had three teenage kids so they said they would have the boys every Monday from eight in the morning until tea time. I would go and have dinner with them as well and then we would go home at about 7PM every single Monday. They did this for three and a half years until I got remarried. And there was another lady in the church who would come and clean my house every week.
It was still challenging and painful and single parenting during that whole journey was a real challenge but God is so faithful and He looked after us and I will forever be thankful.
What Bible verses were your greatest source of comfort during this period?
Rachel was in hospital from Wednesday and she passed on the following Saturday. I remember Friday being with her and reading “for those who love God all things work together for good” and I circled “all things” because I was really convicted on that day.
That phrase, “all things”, kept coming back to me. We have to trust God in all things, good and bad. He is a faithful God and how do I know he’s a faithful God? He is going to give me all the things I need to walk through this life and remain close to him. How do I know that? Because he gave me Jesus. If he’s given me his own son he is going to give me all the things I need. Three months after Rachel passed, in our small groups at church we were reading through Job and Job was asking the Lord, why has this happened to me? I have not once thought why has God done this to me. I think this is because He has kept reminding me that I don’t understand it. He’s working these things through and I just have to trust him – and I do.
What were the years following Rachel’s death like for you and your sons?
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