Church spires to help spread pornography, blasphemy, gambling and fake news
by Archbishop Cranmer:
And lo, the Church of England signed an accord with the Department for Digital, Culture, Media and Sport to permit church spires and bell towers to be used to house antennae, satellite dishes and fibre cables in order to improve broadband, mobile and WiFi connectivity for local communities. DCMS Secretary of State Matt Hancock said: “Churches are central features and valued assets for local communities up and down the country. This agreement with the Church of England will mean that even a 15th century building can help make Britain fit for the future improving people’s lives by boosting connectivity in some of our hardest-to-reach areas.”
That’s nice.
We are told that Improved digital connectivity will bring a range of benefits to rural communities, including:
- better access to online public services
- improved social interaction with family and friends
- effective online presence meaning that local businesses can extend their reach and better compete with other
businesses, or in the case of tourism businesses, better attract visitors to the local area - better access to skills and training which can lead to further local employment opportunities that deliver
improved productivity and can boost the wider local economy.
And lo, there was much adulation and praise from government ministers, internet service providers, telecom companies and a few bishops, not least because the rental income will undoubtedly help these Grade II listed historic buildings fix their leaky roofs and shield their medieval treasures from raining bat guano.
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