Loveless, Narcissistic Sex Addicts: A Gay Man Critiques His Community

The Supreme Court ruling on June 26, 2015, that legalized gay marriage in all 50 states was a landmark day in U.S. history. Yet I am at a deep and uncomfortable moral crossroad in my life over this decision.

I am gay, Jamaican, and a conservative Democrat who is deeply committed to marital equality for gays and lesbians. People of the same sex ought to have as much of a moral and legal right as their heterosexual counterparts to marry a person of their choice with whom they think they want to spend the rest of their lives.

It is a violation of individual rights for the state to discriminate against the marital choices of gays and lesbians. It thoroughly annihilates the unassailable value one has discovered—perhaps, after a lifetime of searching—in another person who undoubtedly contributes to the meaning and purpose of one’s life.

I also believe marriage between two men in our contemporary culture is a colossal waste of time, a hopeless undertaking doomed for failure, and, fundamentally, a naive endeavor profoundly at odds with the hypersexual, broken, and ethically bankrupt ethos and nature of gay male culture. I do not believe this because I think homosexuality is immoral. Sexual orientation per se is morally neutral. One should judge ethical status according to how one functions in a relationship rather than the sexual identity one holds.

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