Move along the bus, please. Allah is waving his begging bowl

May 11, 2018 by

by Jules Gomes, Rebel Priest:

I keep bumping into Allah in London because this Ramadan, Allah is riding on a lot of double-decker British buses. My nephew who has just arrived from Mumbai, is confused. It’s his first time abroad and I’m showing him the sights. He’s already had a stopover in Riyadh and heard the Koran cantillated to him on the plane before take off. The poor chap couldn’t even wet his gills on the flight as Allah had banned all booze. Now Allah has followed my nephew all the way to London!

We take in the glories of London’s Christian art and architecture and even hear an outstanding rendition of Handel’s ‘I know that my Redeemer liveth’ at Westminster Cathedral. But dear old Allah, egged on by his Chief Publicity Officer Mayor Sadiq Khan, keeps interrupting our tour of the capital and begging us for a bob or two.

It seems like Allah’s pocket money from the oil-rich nations of the Persian Gulf is running out and it’s time for all good Londoners to come to the aid of the party. So Britain’s biggest Muslim charity, Islamic Relief, has to beg on his behalf and tug at our heartstrings from the billboards of the red London buses.

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